Spanish conundrums: “Did they say oeste [west] or o este [or east]?”
Este es este. Este es oeste. Es o este o oeste. Es o oeste o este. ¿Es este o este? ¿Es este o oeste? Puede que este esté en el este, puede que esté en el oeste. Puede que éste esté en el este, y ese esté en el oeste. Es o este o oeste, o oeste o este.
“This is east. This is west. It’s either east or west. It’s either west or east. Is it this one or this one? Is it east or west. This one might be in the east, it might be in the west. THIS one might be in the east, and that one might be in the west. It’s either east or west, or west or east.”
Person A: You know… the thing Person B: The “thing”? Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD
As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:
Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.
Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”
Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.
Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.
Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.
Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.
Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!”
Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”
[polyglot laughter and grumbles of frustration in the distance]
Slt (Salut) = Hello Bcp (Beaucoup) = A lot Dsl (Désolé) = Sorry Stp (S’il te plait) = Please Dac (D’accord) = Okay Qd (Quand) = When Qqch (Quelque chose) = Something Qqn (quelqu’un) = Somebody
Internet words
Mdr (Mort de rire) = Lol Ptdr (Pété de rire) = Lmao Vdm (Vie de merde) = Fuck my life Tg (T’as gueule) = Shut up BG (Beau gosse) = Hot guy Tkt (T’inquiête) = Don’t worry
Common sayings
Bref = In short Ouais = Yeah Putain, Merde = Shit
C’est
de la merde = It’s crap
Ça craint = It sucks Ça
me soûle = It’s annoying me C’est relou (C’est lourd) = It sucks C’est ouf (C’est fou) = It’s crazy C’est trop cool = It’s awesome C’est le bordel = It’s a mess
Je
suis claqué = I’m exhausted
Je me casse = I’m getting out of here
Je
m’en fou = I don’t care
Tu rigoles = You’re jocking
Tu te fous de ma gueule = You’re kidding me Tu fais quoi? = What’s up?
Laisse
tomber = Just forget it
Fais gaffe = Be careful
Péter un plomb = Going crazy
Avoir la flemme de faire quelque chose = To be too lazy to do something
Unformal verbs
Bouffer = To eat Taffer = To work Roupiller, Pioncer = To sleep Kiffer = To have a crush on someone Etre vénère (Etre énervé) = To be annoyed Se marrer = To laugh
Unformal nouns
Un mec = A guy
Une meuf = A girl
Un pote = A friend
Une bagnole = A car
Une baraque = A house
Un pieu = A bed
Un bouquin = A book
Une clope = A cigarette
Le fric, le blé, le thune, l’oseille, le pognon = Money
Un flic, un keuf = A cop Un gosse, un gamin = A kid
Un boulot, un taf, un job = A job
La fac = University
Le bahut = High school
The above
phrases/words can be used in almost every informal situation, but don’t use them in
your essays or in any kind of normal writing!
I just love how in English you say “great minds think alike”, which is a completely positive thing since you’re kinda praising yourself, but in German you go like “zwei Dumme, ein Gedanke” = “two fools, one thought”
German is beautiful, isn’t it
Kind of reminds me when my french teacher explained us the french idiom “L’espoir fait vivre” (Hope makes us live) and he asked me how Germans say it and I was like “Hope dies last” and his legit answer was:
“See, that’s why no one likes you!”
to be fair, the full phrase is “great minds think alike, but fools rarely differ”
aliens: because theres people who think that english is the only language they need to speak
me: thats fair i understand
For some reason I find this all the more amusing because it’s written in English
moi: pourquoi vous détruisez le monde!!! l’extraterrestre: parce que il y a des gens qui pensent que l’anglais est le seule langue pour parler moi: ah ça c’est bien
ich: warum zerstört ihr die erde!!!
aliens: weil es leute gibt die glauben dass englisch die einzige sprache ist die sie sprechen müssen
ich: das ist fair ich verstehe
ég: af hverju eyðileggið þið jörðina!!! aliens: af því að það er fólk sem finnst að enska sé sú eina tungumál sem þau þurfa að tala ég: oh, það er vit í þessu. ég skil.
ik: waarom vernietig je de aarde!!!
aliens: omdat er mensen zijn die denken dat engels de enige taal is die ze hoeven te spreken
ik: oh zo, ik snap het
minä: miks te tuhootte maapalloo?
alienit: koska tääl on ihmisiä joitten mielestä englanti on ainoo kieli jota niitten täytyy puhua
minä: toi on reilua, ymmärrän
私: どうして地球を滅ぼしているんですか？
宇宙人: 英語しか喋る必要がないと思う人がいるからです
私: なるほど、わかりました
me: Wosück maakt ji de Welt twei!!!
aliens: wieldat dat Lüüd gifft, de dinkt dat Engelsch de allenige Spraak weer, de een snacken mütt
me: jo, daar seggst wat. Nu versta ik’t
aniga: dhulka maxaad u burburinaya !!!
shisheeyaha: dadka intiisa badani u malaynayaan in Ingiriisidu tahay afka oo kaliya ay u baahan yihiin inay la hadlaan
aniga: waxaan fahamsanahay. waa wax cadaalad
我：你们为什么在毁灭地球?！！
外星人：因为有人以为他们只会英语就可以了
我：懂了，说得有道理
ako: bakit niyo sinisira ang mundo!!!
taga-ibang planeta: kasi merong mga taong akala nila Ingles lang ang kailangan nilang matutunang lenggwahe
ako: ah, sige naiintindihan ko
Aku : kenapa kau hancurkan bumi!!! Alien : karena masih banyak orang berpikir hanya bahasa inggris satu-satunya bahasa yang terpenting Aku : oh, oke lah..
tôi: tại sao các người hủy diệt trái đất!!!
người ngoài hành tinh: bởi vì có người nghĩ rằng tiếng Anh là thứ tiếng duy nhất mà họ cần biết
tôi: ồ thế thì tôi hiểu
Eu: Por que vocês estão destruindo a Terra?! Aliens: Porque há pessoas que pensam que o inglês é a única língua que eles precisam falar. Eu: Isso é justo, eu entendo.
jag: varför förintar ni jorden!!!
utomjordingar: för det finns folk som tror att engelska är det ända språket de behöver kunna
jag: rimligt, jag förstår
Já: Proč ničíte Zemi?
Mimozemšťani: Protože tu jsou lidé, kteří si myslí, že angličtina je jediný jazyk, který potřebují znát
Já: To je fér, to chápu.
ja: dlaczego niszczycie Ziemię?
kosmici: ponieważ są ludzie, którzy myślą, że angielski to jedyny język, którego potrzebuję
ja: rozumiem, w porządku
io: perchè state distruggendo la terra!!!
alieni: perchè ci sono delle persone che credono che l’inglese sia l’unica lingua di cui hanno bisogno
io: capisco, mi sembra giusto
Yo: porqué estás destruyendo la tierra!?!?
Extraterrestre: porque hay personas quienes creen que inglés es la única lengua que se tiene que hablar.
Yo: te entiendo, es justo.
Я: Почему вы уничтожаете Землю?!?! Инопланетяне: Потому что есть люди, которые считают, что им нужно говорить только по-английски. Я: А, ну понятно, тогда ладно!
CaptainBubblebath 