ap euro: it’s probably the catholic church’s fault so you can blame them for everything
apush: just remember that the white men will fuck over everyone else, and even on occasion, other white men
ap english lit: tattoo the complete works of shakespeare on your person
ap spanish language: put everything in the subjunctive to show how much you doubt everything you do
ap physics i: make a blood sacrifice to sir isaac newton
ap physics ii: cry on a battery
ap calc ab: take the derivative, set it equal to zero, and pray
Tag: advanced placement
Walking into AP Physics 1 Exam like
I am one with the force
The force is with me
and foRCE EQUALS M A
That exam makes me wanna swallow dough then apply a potential difference to it
AP Gothic
- You open the test booklet. The first page is formulas. The second page is formulas. They’re all formulas. You can’t find the questions. Everyone around you is diligently working. You flip through the booklet but all of it is formulas. They consume you.
- “Close your booklet and stop working.” Pencils sound as they hit the desk. Time is called. Time doesn’t answer. Where is it? It is lost. You are all lost.
- You are told to seal the multiple choice question booklet. The white labels don’t fit properly in the designated sections. None of this fits. You may never discuss these questions. They no longer exist. They never existed. Ryan tried to fight back. They drag him away. Ryan never existed either.
- The test references AP students in it. Haha. The test is very funny. Laugh. College Board wants you to laugh. College Board just wants to be friends. College Board is very friendly. College Board beckons you closer. Closer. They are very funny. L A U G H
- You may only use black or blue ink. Your pen breaks. The ink spills everywhere. Milky black liquid falls over everything you knew and loved. The College Board confiscates it. “How can we accurately assess your skills without gathering all your materials?” They smile. You never noticed they had so many teeth before.
- The proctor reads the instructions and you begin writing. The proctors circle you. They lean over your test and make disapproving noises. They are hunting. They pick out the weak. You will be next.
You open your AP score report in July, but there are no numbers listed next to your exams. Instead, there are phrases, phrases that swim in your confused mind: you earned a score of “Corruption” for Art History, and next to Calculus BC is the word “Pain”. “Fear”. “Uncertainty”.“Hatred”. These are the scores you have earned. These are the scores that define you.
ap board: don’t talk about the test under any circumstances-
me logging in 5 seconds after leaving the test room to post memes: im sorry what