seduce me with ur history knowledge
vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft
During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.
raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death
during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.
The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people
King James (the one known for revising the Bible) liked to watch women give birth. That’s where the “tradition” of women laying on their backs to give birth comes from.
Previous to that it was common for women to have chairs with holes in them and straw underneath, so they could sit on this special chair and let gravity help with the birthing process.
Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes
At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.
When the Roman Emperor Caligula went to invade Britain he stood on the coast of Gaul with his army and suddenly declared war on Neptune, God of the Sea. He had his men collect sea shells from the shore as “spoils from the Ocean”.
Oh and he appointed his horse to the senate.
During the Austro-Prussian war of 1868, Liechtenstein sent over an army of 80 people, but ended up coming back with 81 people because they befriended a guy on the other side.
People refused to send art and sculptures to be displayed at the Chicago World’s Fair because of Chicago’s history with fire. They had to fireproof the Fine Arts building to get people to agree to loan them their art. A year after the fair closed most of the grounds were destroyed by fire but the Fine Arts building survived. It’s now the Museum of Science and Industry.
The carbon emissions thing from Ghenghis Khan is not the whole story. He also planted trees wherever he conquered land because he liked trees and thought they were important. He conquered enough to make an impact on the global climate.
Radu III, brother of Vlad III( Vlad the Impaler) nearly killed Mehmed II, the future Sultan of the Ottoman’s, after Mehmed invited him up to his chambers. Radu, seemingly unaware that the offer was sexual in nature, was startled when Mehmed embraced and then tried to kiss him. Radu stabbed the prince in the leg, then ran and hid in a tree. They later became lovers, and maintained a relationship for the rest of their lives
Just googled the last one because holy shit that’s magnificent and seemed to good to be true, but not only did it actually happen, but I also learned that radu was known as “radu the beautiful”
Tag: history
fun facts!
- leonardo da vinci was a year younger than christopher columbus.
- stalin, freud, Ttto, trotsky and hitler walk into a bar……no really, it’s possible since they all lived in vienna in 1913.
- aristotle tutored alexander the great.
- abraham lincoln was twelve when napoleon bonaparte died.
- an unusually well-traveled person in 5th century BC could have conceivably met confucius, lao tze, the buddha and socrates over the course of a seventy year life.
- pharaohs and mammoths existed at the same time.
- pocahontas and william shakespeare died, in the same country, less than a year apart from each other.
- oxford university is older than the aztec empire.
If you ever feel like you’ve screwed up, just remember that in 1348 the Scots thought it would be a good idea to invade England because the English were weakened by the Plague. They subsequently caught the plague themselves, went back to Scotland, and killed half their own population.
What does this mean?
That, my friend, is exactly the question you have to ask.
ancient engineer: hey i want to design something tall for the priests but every time i build anything really high up the whole fucking building falls over
ancient engineer 2: have you considered stacking the levels so that it cant fall over because the top is smaller than the bottom, also putting the keystones in places so the base doesnt break
ancient engineer: your’e a goddamn genius. here’s a key to my clay + thatch hut and fuck my wife
When trains were introduced in the U.S, many people believed that that “women’s bodies were not designed to go at 50 miles an hour,” and that their “uteruses would fly out of [their] bodies if they were accelerated to that speed.”
I have so much respect for historical women not murdering every man they know
Actually the Vikings had dreadlocks so black people didn’t invent the hair style
mainmanblackdynamite-deactivate:
Vikings had dirty matted ass hair because ancient Europeans were a filthy people who would shit in their drinking water and wonder why they got sick
You’re both wrong.
Vikings bathed like all the damn time. It was one of the reasons for a long time you had people from the rest of Europe seeing them as untrustworthy weirdos. They carried combs on their belts because they put a lot of stock in having orderly and often elaborately braided hair. Sometimes they’d pack the braids with mud to hold them in place in battles (which their opponents, like the COMPLETELY non-bathing Romans) would mistake for dreads, but in peaceful situations they’d immediately clean it out again.
The Vikings didn’t have dreads, but they were also a pretty clean group of people until they were forcibly assimilated into the rest of medieval Europe.
Thank you for laying down some history truth!
Vikings bathed once a week, and that made all of Europe think that they were stuck-up prudes.
They also thought they were nuts for *gasp* WEARING AND WASHING UNDERWEAR.
The vikings bathed so much they were accused of trying to seduce woman solely based on how clean they were:
This cracks me up so bad. Like THESE HEATHENS ARE TRYING TO RUIN VIRTOUS WOMEN WITH THEIR CLEANLINESS!
CaptainBubblebath 