Tag: harry potter

thestraggletag:

dontkillbirds:

sleepy-loopin:

dontkillbirds:

Headcanon: Professor McGonagall has a muggle wife she never mentions to the students, because they never ask.

Four years after Harry’s left Hogwarts he visits McGonagall’s home to talk her out of retirement, and the door is opened by a woman he doesn’t recognise. Confused, he introduces himself and asks to see McGonagall. The woman recognises the name and invites him in, saying Minerva will be home soon. She then talks a mile a minute, but not about the war – about the stories she’s heard about the golden trio from their head of house. About how Harry stood up to Umbridge, and how clever Hermione was, and how Ron had been able to beat her chess game, and how PROUD Minerva was of them all.

By the time McGonagall does arrive, Harry and her wife are chatting like old friends. Minvera’s wife calls her things like “Darling” and “Pumpkin.” Harry cannot believe his ears.

Harry is invited to tea every Wednesday from then on. He always looks forward to it.

but lets be real here, even with the “darling”s and “pumpkin”s Harry still wouldn’t catch on and he’d go home and tell Ginny all about McGonagall’s lovely gal-pal and Ginny would have to be like “babe…that was her wife”

You’re right, fuck! How could I forget how deeply unobservant Harry is?!

“Harry, they’re lesbians.”

harrymalfoyislife:

you-had-me-at-hallow:

I have a headcanon that Hermione insists her children attend some primary muggle schooling before Hogwarts, just as she had done. Now, imagine Arthur Weasley attending his grandchild’s science fair, being the ultra proud grandfather….and yet also completely geeking out over absolutely EVERYTHING.

thank you for making me smile and cry at the same time

harry potter books rated by ron

disneyprinceronweasley:

sorcerer’s/philosopher’s stone: i’ll be a knight, literally sacrifices himself for harry and hermione 10/10
chamber of secrets: in like chapter two he FLIES a car to save harry from his abusive relatives already 10/10
prisoner of azkaban: stood on his broken leg to try and defend harry from a supposed mass murderer he’d been scared of most of his freaking life 10/10
goblet of fire: ron’s indignation on his behalf was worth about a hundred points to him – also the thing harry missed most 10/10 
order of the phoenix: weasley is our king 10/10
half-blood prince: In spite of the feeling of dread that had just swept through him his spirits could not help but lift at the sight of it. Ron was in there 10/10
deathly hallows: ron breaking the silencing charm to shout at voldermort that harry beat him 10/10

prideprejudce:

me talking about the harry potter movies: tbh i have a lot of issues with these films,, the script was an absolute mess at times, some of the costumes weren’t accurate at all, lines were often not delivered correctly, also some of the casting choices weren’t all that great either,,,

as soon as a harry potter movie starts playing: this,,,, is truly cinema at its Peak. hollywood at its full Glory. no series could ever dream to top this. DO NOT fucking doubt that i can repeat every line every character says in every single goddamn scene 

darklordtomarry:

ronaldswheezy:

sp00kylexa:

harry can’t duel

harry can’t duel

harry cannot duel

he only uses expelliarmus and he cannot duel

even if he’s dueling the FUCKING DARK LORD

Imagine the conversation ministry officials must be having when they see his auror application:

“He’s Harry Potter!”

“I know but that doesn’t change the fact-”

“Harry! Freaking! Potter!”

“We still need him to attend extra duelling lessons-”

“We can’t put Harry Potter in extra duelling lessons!”

“He only ever uses one spell-”

“Yeah, but he’s really good at it.”

I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who had practiced one kick 10,000 times. – Bruce Lee

stagdoewolfdog:

vondrakenhof:

prongsmydeer:

I hope Sirius constantly turned into a dog to get out of arguments with James, because it would mean that James was left with the following options:

  • Being known as the crazy man who is arguing with a dog
  • Rough-housing, and being known as the man who is mean to dogs
  • Submitting to Sirius’s literal puppy-dog eyes, and losing almost every argument they have from the age of 15 onward

The fourth option is to turn into a deer and continue the argument.

Hogwarts student: *walks in on a deer and dog barking at each other*

Hogwarts student: 

Hogwarts student: why does this keep happening

bibliophileap:

bibliophileap:

chasertiff:

erencomeoutofthebasement:

chasertiff:

chasertiff:

chamber of secrets au where fred and george steal ginny’s diary bc “haha ginny why are you keeping a diary omg its old and blank” and they just start drawing dicks in it and then the dicks fade off the paper and fred and george just look at each other and go “omg infinite dicks” so they draw dicks on it all year until the diary literally ink vomits itself to death bc tom riddle cant handle the dicks anymore and no one ever opened the chamber of secrets and fred and george destroyed the very first horcrux the end

This is my legacy

#dicksoutfortomriddle

in 124,000 notes no one has added a caption so completely wonderful and succint and beautiful and goddamn perfect ive been laughing for 15 years thank you

diary: stolen

pages: self-erasing

dicks: out

TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE IS FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM THE HORCRUX